Was re-watching Harry Potter yesterday.. the eighth one.. and this conversation, once again, struck some thoughts in my mind...
“I’ve got a choice?”
“Oh yes,” Dumbledore smiled at him. “We are in King’s Cross you say? I think that if you decided not to go back, you would be able to . . . let’s say . . . board a train.”
“And where would it take me?”
“On,” said Dumbledore simply.
This conversation took place in Harry's brain, and it was real. Ok, random. But yes, I'm now at my own King's Cross Station. Standing on the platform, deliberating whether to board the next train or not. Do I want to? I should. Many have told me that I should board the train, move on, and live my life. All along I've always heard others telling others to "Live Life To The Fullest". How the hell in the world do you know whether you've lived life to the fullest?! Who's going to be the judge for that statement? Your parents, siblings, relatives, friends, neighbours, strangers, or you yourself?
All my life, I've always lived on others' advices. We advice you to...., I think you should..., In my opinion you..... etc etc. Thinking back, was what I did actually what I wanted. Or was it what I had to do. Not necessarily the right thing. But just something others said I had to do. Whether I knew my work or not, whether I was smart or stupid, whether I was hard-working or lazy, whether I used my brain or not, it was always someone else telling me. I never once paused to think "Was I really like that???" I think, I let others define me. Not once did I define myself. Descriptive words and phrases were always used to describe others. However, how often does one actually sit down and reflect, thinking about what they did, say, think for that day? Not often. In fact, living in the city has caused people to think less. Stress allowed city dwellers to claim that they're too tired to think! Whereas those living in the suburbs will not need to think and reflect so much. Life's kinda pretty standard there I guess. And if you can afford to live in the suburbs, you're probably pretty much self-sustainable no?
So if I don't listen to others this time, and listen to my heart and brain debating, which should I choose? To board, or to stay? Like what Dumbledore (or Rowlings) say, the train just takes you "on". No one really knows where the train will take you. To a specific destination, maybe. But that's probably all right? No one will know exactly what kind of experiences you'll get. The train ride, or the destination or both, can change your life. Perhaps, only the great lord can give some answers. And then again, every decision that you make changes the course of your life! Fate is unpredictable because not everything is set in stone until it has happened. So, life is after all just a gamble. Just something that will allow us to ride the ups and downs, learning and learning.
Final question though, board or don't board? Time is running out already.
